Article written by Mark Polson
As another season comes towards its end, our P7 players were ready for what they’ve looked forward to for some years – the end-of-season tour. This year we went reiving across the Border to the Tynedale junior tournament. And like reivers of old, we came back with some spoils.
We set off on Saturday late morning with full intention to stop at the Border for lunch and to put the wind up any tourists who might be there by dint of the fact that our touring party had four bagpipers in it. Thick fog and, frankly, missing the car park meant that didn’t happen, but we weren’t downhearted and instead headed straight for Go Ape at Matfen, about 15 miles outside Newcastle. Our apes acquitted themselves with honour, bravery, a lot of dirty clothes, and the occasional bit of style in the soaking treetops, as did hardy coaches and dads. Well, all bar six, but we’ll come back to them.
Treetop gymnastics done, we headed for the youth hostel and a well-earned dinner. After that, it was time for the awards ceremony where each player was celebrated for what they’ve brought to the team, and the coach was left in no doubt as to the flaws in their characters.
Balance is everything, and so after the awards it was time for the tour institution of Kangaroo Court. A procession of defendants were found either guilty or not guilty – mainly guilty – of misdeeds ranging from back-chat to referees through to the unforgivable crime of missing rugby in pursuit of romance. The fact that the miscreants accused of this most serious of betrayals – and there were two – escaped punishment on account of being ‘legends’ can only be put down to a sugar high the sentencing judge was on after drinking his special juice. The coaches didn’t escape either, including the Go Ape Six who took the most frightful slagging for having stayed on the ground, and a very serious allegation of some coaches – including head coach Ally Law – being ringers for Stewart’s Melville. Our horse vet prosecutor had some suggestions for punishments for this, but thankfully he
hadn’t brought his tools with him.
After all that – and in case any parents are reading this – it was an early bed and a good night’s sleep, or something.
Sunday morning came and off we went to Tynedale for some actual rugby, with the boys pumped and only one stop required for a strange bout of travel sickness experienced by one of the mature members of the party.
We fielded two teams – Whites and Blues – with each scheduled to play four games against teams from all over the North East. Nerves were jangling as we faced up to our first games, but they were quickly put to bed with emphatic victories. Our lads showed what they are made of, moving the ball quickly, rucking hard, and running great angles to breach the opposition try-line time after time. The defence was strong too – neither team accepted that the opposition might have momentum at any point and we tackled our hearts out. It was great to see.
Having missed the chance to put the frighteners on the Southerners the day before, our pipers gave it laldy during the lunch break, which gave us heart, entertained some locals, and got some dirty looks. All the better for our teams’ motivation.
After the first scalps came the second, and then the third for both teams. We were on for a Grand Slam, but our toughest test came last including the hosts. The Blues went first and put their opponents to the sword, and that just left the Whites to close out the day…would they manage it?
Of course, they did, and we finished the tournament with an unbeaten run, a string of great tries, and outstanding performances from every player. No one could have asked for more, and even the coach driver might have cracked a wee grin as we headed out of the car park and back home.
It’s nearly time for this group of players to disband and head their separate ways – many to Vikings, some to other clubs – and this couldn’t have been a better way to finish their junior rugby careers. The tour went off without a hitch – a testament to a huge amount of work behind the scenes – and all the coaches hope the boys will remember their smash-and-grab across the Border for many years to come.